Who, me?

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the relaxed demeanor of people in Seattle, especially compared with the attention-deficient New Yorkers. But people in this area can be infuriatingly inert.

Example 1: driving. Drivers here are bad. Not because they’re too aggressive, too fast or too rude. Rather, they don’t think they need to do anything other than watch the speed limit, and stay in their lane. So what happens when you’re trying to get into the highway, and in the highway lane there is a car just slightly ahead of you, and one just slightly behind, going at your same speed, and blocking your access? Yup, good luck with that. Neither car will do anything about it. It’s up to you to floor the gas or slam on the brake. Or honk like crazy, or just force your way between the cars, and hope for the best. You asshole, see what you did?

Example 2: elevators. The elevators in my building require your ID badge to be swiped, before you can press your floor’s button. The swipe device is only in one corner of the elevator, next to the buttons. Almost always, people get in the elevator, stand next to the swipe device, swipe their card, press their button and just stay there. It’s up to you to swipe your badge between the device and the person standing next to it. Or ask someone to swipe for you, or say, crossly “Excuse me!”. You asshole, see what you did?

Example 3: elevators, again. For some reason, in crowded elevators, the person standing by the door, and blocking the others from exiting on their own floor, never thinks he/she needs to do anything other than breathe. It’s up to you to shove gently, say “Excuse me!”, or cough loudly. You asshole, see what you did?

My dear Seattleites. Nobody is denying you’re relaxed, and civilized in many ways, but sometimes you require a little peripheral vision. Yes, I’m talking to you! Hey!